Faith. It's about believing, you may not know how it will happen. But you know that it will.
When my son was diagnosed with cancer he was to have a surgery that was quite costly. Something to the tune of $14,000-ish. Of course we had health insurance so I knew we wouldn't have to pay that much. Yet three days before the surgery Children's hospital called with the amount we would have to pay-$800.
Now, this may not seem like a lot to most people, especially people we knew who lived in Collin County, the wealthiest county in the nation. But for us, it was a lot. Unfortunately at the time I had listened to false teachers who told me that as a believer in Jesus the Messiah you wouldn't be rich and in fact, being wealthy actually wasn't acceptable. Contrary to what I read in the scriptures, I adopted this theory as my own and of course, lived accordingly. And prayed accordingly as well. Begging God to provide, hoping that we would get to have a few trips and adventures along the way with my children.
Gross. Even typing those words gives me such a disgusted feeling. Because think about it- would my children ever in their lives beg me to provide dinner, clothing, or even a fun day? Goodness NO! And when they have acted like I never feed them it actually frustrates me. I'm a fabulous mother, why wouldn't I provide good food, fun adventures and beautiful clothes for them. Even giving little "happys" along the way? And yet, the Word of God says that even me, being evil, (compared to a perfect God, let's be clear) if I know how to give good things to my children, how much more does He? Well now. Isn't that something that is rarely shared.
Good thing I'm here to set the record straight, agreed?
So the cancer bill. At the time I didn't know how to believe God for financial needs, let alone wants. Can I tell you at times I thought that maybe it wasn't the will of God for my son to live- God is so misrepresented by the church. I even had christians tell me it may not be God's will to have children at all after I had two miscarriages. Some of you people really need to guard your mouth. But what I did believe was that I could argue with Him and command Him to change His mind if in fact, He planned on taking my son home early. Like, "nah, You can't have him for another 90 years and oh by the way, You had better get to work healing my son. Please and thank you."
I wish I were lying that I had a different more reverent attitude, but it's where I was and yes, I did get all mother bear on the King of the universe.
But God... being so rich in mercy chose to let my feistiness and rude tone slide and do what I asked, which was heal my son. Not only that, He straight up told me He would do it, before the surgery even took place. One night insomnia and worry overtook me so I played bible roulette and opened it to a passage in Isaiah that read, "your healing will come quickly". I didn't share that word from the Lord with anyone until very recently because I know humans and I know they love to tell me that scripture doesn't mean that and you know, you can't be going around taking bible verses out of context just to suit my own needs. Yea ok, whatever to that. As it turns out my son was healed quickly, just as He promised. That's all I'm going to say about that. For now...
Two days before surgery a little white dog rolls up our driveway. I'm minding my own business in the house when the children come racing in yelling "mom mom mom mom!!! There's a white dog in the driveway, can we keep it can we keep it can we keep it???"
I had a kid with cancer, was home schooling 3 of my four children, and running a full time hair business from my house, I did not under any circumstances have the time for another dog- let alone a stray. So like any sensible mother would do, I told them to bring the dog in and let's see what we have.
We bathed it, blowed dried its nappy hair and fed the poshy thing. I mentioned we lived in Poshville USA, right? It was a white Maltese fluff dog. We then proceeded to pastes signs up everywhere in the neighborhood, all the while I was thinking, 'I do not have time for this. What on earth are we doing?' As you'll read in a moment, we were partnering with God and the angels- because this dog we found out later ran across a very busy road just to get to our house.
On the night before my son's surgery, my husband in a last ditch desperate attempt to rid us of our new dog, Big Mike, (we had just watched the Blind Side), checks Craigslist for lost dog postings.
Bingo. Found Big Mike's pictures right there with a number.
The owners came running over about 15 minutes later and we meet them outside. The woman thrusts a check for $500 in my hands to which the poverty spirit immediately spoke up and said "oh I couldn't take this" and my wise husband said to her "oh yes we can." At the time I assumed it was evil to take money for doing a good deed. Again, that is just gross.
In the morning we went to the hospital and Mark went to take care of the bill on account of it needed paying before they'd slice the boy open. I mean, that's fair. The details are fuzzy but somehow he learned we could apply for a discount. Being wise, of course, he promptly did just that. And low and behold, we had such a big family, we qualified for the big family discount, forever, from any and all procedures my son would ever need. Not only was $500 more than enough, the amount we needed to pay was $250, we had extra.
Now here's the thing. Many of you might say, "oh isn't that nice of the LORD to give them extra for that hard season", and figure that was a one off.
Yet, the word of God says the complete opposite. As a child of God, I'm to expect more than enough. As a child of the King of the universe I am to expect enough and extra. After all, do my children only expect me to feed the just what their bellies can fit? Heck no! Those little people plow through fresh baked bread from Grandma and then need our DiGize essential oil because they ate a little too much. My littlest mows through the ice cream and yet leaves half in her bowl because she's too full too finish.
At the time my husband and I were only faithful with money in the way we gave. We've always been tithers, we would never rob God of what's rightfully His. But we didn't know to involve Him in our finances, we didn't know that we have this covenant with God that says because we obey Him, He is actually obligated to Himself to bless us. (Deuteronomy 28) There was no one in my circle who believed that. All those people who I had met that told me those things had been removed from my life quite early in my walk with God. From then on I only heard sermons that said God would provide for only my needs, not my wants.
What a total crock. What a load of heresy.
You see, people say a lot of things. But I experience a lot more than most people say. Since Big Mike, since the healing of my son, then my daughter, I have learned that our God is not one to be stingy. It's like that song, Good Good Father says, "I've heard a thousand stories of what they say You're like. But I know...."
I hear a thousand stories of ways that people blame God.
Things like "oh God is teaching me a lesson through this illness." Ick
Things like "oh if it's the Lord's will then I'll be able to _____".
Can you imagine Jesus saying to the leper, "hey so I could heal you, but I think it's best that you learn to trust Me and be patient in suffering"?
Can you imagine Jesus saying to the disciples rather than "you guys give the people some food", imagine if He'd have said "oh stink, you guys are right, we better send them away to scrounge and find some food before it gets too late. Or better yet, maybe if they go hungry they'll learn to appreciate my Father more"?
And yet these are the types of things we tell one another. Worse, those of you who do not know my Jesus, have been told as much and frankly, it's probably why you don't believe in Him. It's hard to believe in a God who is constantly looking to teach life's lessons through pain and hardship. Yes, I have learned things through my hardships, but it wasn't the LORD who gave me those. Turns out, there's an enemy of my soul, of your soul, who is always lobbing disaster our way. But our loving Father, provided Jesus to stave off those lobs and bombs, has taught me to fight it through prayer.
Since Big Mike the Lord has allowed me to prove Him over and over in the provision sense. I don't demand anymore, I partner. I ask His direction and will. But above all I know that my Redeemer lives and not only do I have eternal assurance, I have total and complete provision I will ever want or need- so says the Word of God.
Have you heard or have you experienced?
Have you heard or have you seen with your own two eyes?
If you know God's character, His true extravagant nature, then you, like me, know our loving God. Isn't He amazing?