Judah Wasn't a My Body, My Choice

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:13-14

For those who do not think the bible is a valid source of truth, this statement and really, anything having to do with life beginning at conception is irrelevant. So I'll bring personal experience into the equation and discussion, since I frankly, am a huge fan of experience and poo poo much of the stats and data arguments. I do choose to sprinkle my writings with the Word of God because some day I will have to answer to Him and give an account for every word I speak and share, and every word I choose to not say. I want His word to be very much a part of that questioning. My sharing scripture is not necessarily for anyone else's sake, but for my own.


So let's begin.


 

In November 2005 I went in for a routine sonogram, all with the hopes of catching a good view of my growing baby and the gender in order to begin prepping for his or her arrival in early April. When the tech excused herself while looking, my heart started racing. What was wrong, I wondered. Tech never leave in the middle of an exam. I knew something was up, having had two healthy babies prior and knowing the protocol, this just felt off. Sure enough, the doc came in all kinds sad faced letting me know my once bouncy and jumping little bean of a baby had no heartbeat. Worst of all, because of how far along i was, I would need to deliver my now dead baby naturally. In short- I was about to go through labor and have zero to show for it. For anyone who has ad a child die and be sent home from the hospital empty, there are few things that feel worse than this.

Kindly the doctors gave me the week to see if my body would begin the labor process on its own, knowing I was a huge fan of natural childbirth. When I woke up Monday morning, seeing I hadn't actually gone into labor, I felt betrayed by my own body and resigned myself to the fate that awaited at the hospital- a long day of labor, followed by a depressing drive back home, empty armed.


Twenty hours later, this was in fact the path that had been laid out.


But I want to share the middle of it all- the part where I got to hold my now deceased little boy. You see, every time I hear a woman yell, "my body my choice!" it takes all the Jesus in me to not go full nutso and rant right back. Isn't that just what the devil would want? Me to respond in the same angry spirit as those chanting 'my body my choice'?

Being a believer in Jesus of course I have always been pro-choice. Frankly, it's not a religious view, though I suppose anyone could make that argument if they were looking for a fight. But from a strictly life versus non life point, it's so obvious this is life. Whatever about the issue of when does life get going, whatever about the notion of a viable life or not. When I finally gave birth to my baby Judah, he was very much a little human. So much so that he looked exactly like Zion and Eden, my first two children. Same little mouth, same eyes, (blue) and a little wisp of blonde hair that most Weir babies are born with. He was so tiny yet so very much my little boy. The hospital has a delightful group of women who knit little hats and blankets for these types of babies who are stillborn, so the families can have pictures with them before saying goodbye.

I know. As you are reading this it's likely I am just bringing up a plethora of tears and emotions. Normally I would apologize for that, but in this case- you'll get zero apology from me. In our nation, we have allowed too many babies to be murdered, babies that were the same age as my Judah. We have allowed it by turning a blind eye to the atrocity that goes on daily in our own nation- for 48 years. We look the other way and say things like "oh yes, abortion, it is horrific! Pass the tea please."

I know there are handfuls praying to end it, yet many in the church are simply ignorant of it or worse yet, agree and say "well it's a better alternative than a baby being born unwanted and then subsequently abused."


Perhaps at one time I might have given that last statement a pass before holding my little Judah in my arms. But after seeing his face, weeping over the loss of a baby I'd never get to hold, I could never align with that.

Ever.



 

Perhaps you are thinking this discussion pointless for those considering an abortion earlier in the pregnancy and to that I would say, "BAH!" Having now had 5 miscarriages, including losing Judah, I have seen arms, feet etc. A human being is a human being no matter how teeny tiny they are, or how viable their life is. The facts are, these are children created in the image of God, never having been given the chance to live out their purpose in life- all because it was terrifically inconvenient for the mother or father.


Our culture is fighting and arguing over abortion rights, whether or not abortion is valid healthcare. It's utter rubbish in the face of a tiny baby who is thriving and growing, who is being knit together by their Creator for purpose and a life worth living.


I'm only one voice in a sea of thousands asking to you to reconsider your mindset on abortion. But it only takes one to change a nation. I'm also one voice asking my brothers and sisters who have put their head in the sand, ignoring the atrocities that occur right in your own city each day, to open your eyes. Begin today by praying, volunteer at a crisis pregnancy center or simply change how you view unwed mothers. Unhook them from your judgement and open your heart to loving them right where they are.


Each time I hear the argument being raised and questioned, I wonder. I wonder what the pro choice people would say if I showed them my Judah's picture, which I still have tucked away in a box that only I look at. Would they be willing to tell me he is just a blob? If there had been any hope of saving him, but perhaps he was deformed or mentally handicapped, would they still be able to look me in the eyes and say "nope. Not a viable human worthy of saving?"

I wonder what my siblings in Christ would say if I showed them this picture, and gave them the visual of that baby and older being brutally slaughtered daily. Would they still sit on their hands, unwilling to do something? I wonder...


 

In our nation we vilify policemen who wrongly kill criminals, hold criminal proceedings, demanding justice for the slain, and rightly so. Yet doctors who perform abortions go terrifically unnoticed who are willing to kill an innocent baby. All because it's legal to do so.

We demonized people who wouldn't wear a mask, get a shot or chose to still gather together in numbers topping a dozen people in one home, (gasp). Yet, doctors get away with complete murder because these children are an inconvenience or deemed not viable.


You guys, this needs to change.